Author Jen Sincero found herself in a boring, repetitive rut, unable to get out. Like many people, she tried everything: self-help seminars, books, and even a career coach. She had difficulty making consistent money and being happy. But now, after her first coaching experience, Jen fell in love with her life and makes money that allows her to live the life she wants and travel the world. She wants you to know that you can unlock your potential too.
Think of all the people in the world who are successful and creative. Those who radiates self-love and abundance. These types of people are essential to our world, essential to the wellbeing of our species and for future generations. And you can become one of these people. Jen Sincero invites you to believe that we live in a world of limitless possibilities. Throughout You Are A Badass, keep an open mind, put disbelief aside, take some risks, and truly go for it!
Chapter 1: How You Got This Way
“You are a victim of the rules you live by.” Think about it. Growing up you’re constantly told how to think about almost every aspect of your life. Your parents, or whoever raised you, teach you lessons based on their own beliefs and construct a version of reality that you trust and believe in.
For instance, if you’re consistently told that no one in your family has graduated from college, you log messages like this into the back of your mind, into your subconscious and you conclude that you can never graduate from college. You see, your subconscious becomes a blueprint of your life, but you have the power to change it.
So what is holding you back? You. The way you think about yourself. But there’s good news. While Jen realizes that everyone has different beliefs, she wants you to know that there is a higher power rooting for you. Call it the Universe, The Force, or The Motherlode, but the Universe is there and Jen believes that if you are honest and clear about what you want and make decisive actions, then you have the power to manifest your dreams.
If you’re rolling your eyes, then think about it this way. The Universe is working when we have those really good days, those days where you feel like you can accomplish anything and leave you on a high. So even on those days when we feel like the world is against us, we must continue to have faith, we must continue to believe. Our faith must be greater than our fear.
Speaking of fear, our fear is what Jen calls The Big Snooze or BS. The Big Snooze acts as the monster inside you that believes you will fail. Those mornings where you oversleep, spill your coffee, forget your lunch, and leave you feeling like you can’t possibly accomplish anything for the rest of the day, that’s your Big Snooze talking. The Big Snooze is that person in your life that tells you your dreams are too big, telling you that you can’t. It holds you back by telling you that you’re satisfied with your life, that you’re making enough money, but you can accomplish more.
Whether inside yourself or someone around you, Big Snooze is trying to sabotage your progress and keep everything as it is. The best way to grow and to leave the place you are in is bymurdering the Big Snooze. Not literally, don’t murder your mother that questions every decision you make. Instead, obtain courage, faith, and trust that the results of your efforts will be worth it. Believe that even if you encounter obstacles along the way, stay on course, the end result will be worth it.
Chapter 2: Love Yourself
From birth, we have an instinctual understanding of the important basics in life and we find ourselves doing what makes us happy like singing aloud and dancing like no one is watching. Children experience genuine happiness, but as we grow older we develop fear. We stop listening to that instinctual understanding and instead listen to others around us: our friends, family, and society.
We think we have to live up to other’s expectations, so we live how others want us to. We take jobs or enter relationships that we think will make us happy because of what people expect of us. Throughout our teenage years and well into our 20s, we allow other people’s opinions to shape our actions. If you can let go of those opinions, you can act how you want and do the things that take you in the direction you want. Learn to love yourself and you can begin your journey to improve your life.
This might be a hard transition, and learning to love yourself can take time. Begin by reciting self-love mantras like “I can do this,” “I deserve the best,” and “I am smart and beautiful.” Recite them in the mirror when you wake up in the morning, replay them in your head as you go about your day, or better yet, write them down! Write them on Post-Its and place them where you can see them every day to remind yourself how great you are.
Learning how to not care what others think may sound easy, but becomes much more difficult when you try to put into practice. Here are some tips to help you:
- Ask yourself why you do and say what you do. Notice where the motivation comes from.
- Always do your best. Half-assing something will open yourself up to insecurity and doubt.
- Trust your gut. It’s an incredible guidance tool that you can always use.
- Find a temporary role model to model your behavior after.
- Love yourself!
Listen to outside criticism and compliments, but reflect on who you are and how you can improve. Don’t take criticism personally, think about it as an opportunity to learn about yourself.
Jen tells the story of going backpacking in the most remote areas of Utah with her friends. Throughout their trek, she and her friends met a man wearing only a loincloth who found modern society too complicated and preferred living off the grid with only what nature could provide him. He was completely unapologetic about who he was and he was happy! So love yourself. Ignore what your colleagues and friends think, your true friends will support you. Lastly, stop comparing yourself to others, you are your own person and you have a special gift to bring to the world. Remember that, own it and love it.
Chapter 3: Tapping Into The Motherlode
The Universe, The Force, The Motherlode, even call Him God if that’s what you believe in. The importance of recognizing that there is a higher power is that you can harness that power. Similar to how Obi-Wan and Luke Skywalker use the force to unleash extraordinary abilities, you can harness the energy of the universe as well. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to levitate objects or see into the future as a Jedi, but you can use the limitless energy of the universe to your advantage. As long as you recognize the existence of a higher power or force, you can understand how the universe connects us all.
Think about it this way, let’s say the Universe is made up of a Source Energy that vibrates at a specific frequency, and those that vibrate at a similar frequency become attracted to one another. Let’s call this the Laws of Attraction. Have you ever heard the phrase “misery loves company?” The Laws of Attraction are similar. Those that are feeling negative emotions like jealousy or worry vibrate at a low frequency and attract more negative energy. However, by tapping into the positive energy vibrations, you can attract what you want.
At this point, you might be thinking, “sure, let me just use the Jedi Force to tap into this positive energy source,” and that’s okay. But let’s see how you can really tap into this Source Energy or Motherlode. Meditation. Sitting still and thinking about nothing. Sounds easy, right? Well if you’ve never meditated before, you’ll be surprised by just how much your mind wanders and how hard it is to quiet your thoughts. The goal is to quiet your mind and everyday thoughts so that you can connect to Source Energy and listen to your inner self.
When you start to connect to Source Energy, you will learn to live in the present, raise your frequencies, open yourself up to unlimited information, relax, and learn to love yourself. Here are some tips to help you become a meditating master:
- Sit in a comfortable, cross-legged position on the floor, or in a chair with your hands on your knees or in your lap.
- Sit up straight and relax your jaw and forehead.
- Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Feel it move in and out of your body.
- Release any thoughts that enter your mind by refocusing on your breathing.
Try to meditate first thing in the morning, set your intention, and just show up to practice.
Chapter 4: Lessons For Living a Fulfilling Life
You hear it all the time. Life is short. But it’s true, you have only a limited time in your body, so you might as well make the most of it! You should continuously live your dreams no matter what stage of life you are in. Don’t settle for mediocrity because you think that’s what you deserve. Think about the times you were most turned on by life. What can you learn from those times?
The first lesson to living a fulfilling life is by embracing something new. Jen shares the story of the band she was in, Crotch. Yes, that was the name of the band. Crotch consisted of herself, her friend, and her younger brother who didn’t quite know how to play instruments, but they had excitement and enthusiasm that led them to several opportunities including managing,producing, and starring in a film; releasing an EP, and obtaining a demo deal. They did all this while having corporate jobs.
Jen and her band didn’t quite know what they were doing, but they took each obstacle as an opportunity to learn something new, to make themselves better. Jen says to let your beginner live along next to your expert - take the learning process seriously but always remember to have fun.
The second lesson is to give and let give. One of the greatest joys in life, a fearless and powerful gesture is giving. If you want to attract good vibes and feelings, then you need to send good out into the world. Some ways you can give are by donating to causes that have meaning to you regularly. Give one of your favorite things away to someone who might need it more. Leave more on your tip than you would normally give. Say yes to things you might not usually say yes to. Feel how good it is to not only give but to also receive.
The third lesson is gratitude. According to Jen, gratitude keeps the awesomeness flowing. It’s more than just being thankful for what you have, instead, it relies on your awareness of, and deep appreciation for the miracles in your daily life. The more consistently you stay grateful and focused on the good, the stronger your connection to Source Energy. If you choose to live in a state of gratitude, then when a desire exists, you are in the proper frequency to receive that desire. Practice gratitude by approaching anything that happens in life with the phrase “this is good because…” It’s important to become grateful in all situations, good or bad. You can also practice gratitude by reflecting on your day and writing down at least ten things that you are thankful for. Maybe you’re thankful the morning rain cleared to reveal a beautiful sunny day, or that you traveled to and from work safely.
The final lesson for living a fulfilling life is forgiveness. People betray us, but you may also believe that you have betrayed yourself. Allow yourself to let go of the conflicts and decide you’d rather be happy than harbor resentment. Look at betrayal as an opportunity to learn and grow and shift away from negative feelings. Accept yourself and your mistakes, wipe the slate clean and just forget about it.
Chapter 5: The Power is Within You
If you believe that you’re going to fail, then you’re going to fail. But what if I told you that you have the power to change the way you view the world? The power is within yourself. And while it may seem difficult at first, once you realize your path, the rest is easy! The power of your thoughts create realities that can lead you to where you want to go.
For instance, once you are clear on your path, then you can plan the steps to take action. Perhaps you want to start a blog, but your fears of failure are holding you back. You begin planning your path by researching your favorite bloggers to examine their journey and find inspiration to create your own path. Remember that no two paths are the same. Once you have a clear path, take action! In other words, fake it until you make it, and simply go out into the world and try.
However, one of the biggest forms of self-sabotage that we find ourselves doing is procrastinating. Some of the biggest lies you tell yourself are that you aren’t qualified or good enough, that you can’t do it. But why do you say these things? Not because you actually can’t do it, but because you’re scared. Fear is the number one reason for procrastination.
Sometimes we spend so much energy coming up with excuses, but if you’re serious about changing your life, then you’ll find a way, not an excuse. If you’re serious about stopping your procrastination, then here are some tips:
- Remember that something completed is better than perfect.
- Notice when you stop and then take action to continue the momentum.
- Make a bet with someone who will hold you accountable.
- Own it and work with it.
Chapter 6: Mirrors of Your Reality
Once you decide to change yourself, you’ll inevitably have plenty of obstacles along the way. From struggling with people not believing in you, to you not believing in yourself, you’ll need to be prepared to go through the ups and downs. But first, it’s important to know how the people you surround yourself with impact how you view yourself.
For instance, do you find yourself becoming bothered by people in different areas of your life? Perhaps it’s people at work, in your family, or even a few friends. What about that person bothers you? Jen believes that people that bother us remind us of something that we don’t like about ourselves. That their behavior might trigger insecurity that we don’t even realize we have. On the other hand, what do you like about the people you like? No matter the type of people you surround yourself with, the people in your life are excellent mirrors for how much, or how little, you love yourself.
At the end of the day, it’s not about other people, it’s about yourself. About believing that you are worthy of being loved and worthy enough to respect yourself. Instead of catering to your need to be liked, start believing in yourself and never apologize for who you are. If you struggle with getting rid of your own projections and judgments, Jen has a few tips.
- Own your ugly. Start noticing things that drive you crazy about other people and use that as a mirror. Let those moments fascinate you instead of infuriating you.
- Question your ugly. Once you realize what you’re projecting, you can let it go. Awareness is the key to improving yourself.
- Eliminate painful people from your life. Sometimes no matter the work you do on yourself, some people are too committed to their own dysfunction. Let those people go.
Chapter 7: How To Kick Some Ass
Inevitably you’ll make mistakes along the way, no one gets to the top of a mountain without falling a few times, right? Temporary failures happen all the time. Remember successful people like Michael Jordan and even Steven Spielberg. Michael Jordan didn’t make his high-school basketball team, and Steven Spielberg was rejected from film school three separate times!The only failure is quitting, everything else is just learning from mistakes and gathering information for your next step.
One way you can just go for it is by wanting it badly. Desire is the key to pushing through obstacles. If you’re going to push through the hard times, you’ll need the desire and passion to get what you want. It’s not enough to just want it, you’ll need to be excited and go after what you want and hold onto it like a pit bull. Be honest about what you want to do, not what you should do.
Remember that your life is your party. You control the guest list and the experiences that happen. It’s all about showing up every day, having an excellent attitude, doing your best, and celebrating what is working with gratitude and belief that the Universe will manifest what you need. Energy needs to flow or else it becomes stagnant, so surround yourself with positive energy and attract positive energy in return. Surrender yourself to the possibilities of your future and be open to the fact that you may not know exactly what your new reality will look like. This might sound difficult at first, but here are some tips to help you:
- Become crystal clear on what you desire to manifest
- See it, feel it, taste it, fall in love with it, believe it is already here
- Decide you will have it
- Inform the Universe of your intention by behaving and thinking as if you already have it
- Meditate, connect with infinite possibilities, your intuition and Source Energy
- Take joyful, passion-fueled action
- Be grateful that it’s yours, that it’s already here
- Breathe, let it go, let in.
If you believe that everything you desire already exists, you will naturally surrender and trust that the Universe will provide. Give it all you got and totally let go.
Chapter 8: Final Summary
To be the badass you want to be, you need to recognize the power you have within yourself and within the Universe. Once you recognize that there is a higher power within the world, you’ll realize that once you put good energy out into the world, you’ll receive good energy in return. Next, you’ll need to identify exactly what is holding you back and address how you’re going to face your fears. Don’t let failure or procrastination get in the way, express gratitude, and manifest your dreams.