Summary
11-minute read
Audio availableHow to Be Fucking Awesome
11-minute readAudio available
Discover the secrets to success from successful fitness coach, copywriter, influencer, and business owner, Dan Meredith.
Monday mornings. “Sunday scaries.” What does this all mean? If you’re tired of working the Monday-Friday grind and experiencing the “Sunday scaries” in which you dread the thought of waking up to go to work the next morning, then it’s time to make a change. Dan Meredith felt this way at one point too. He’d be shattered each Monday morning as his alarm clock forced him awake to go to a job that he hated. He lived life sitting in an office, slowly going insane, making someone else money while his life slipped by. So at thirty-three-years-old, he finally said, “f*ck it!” He stopped making excuses and searched for the secret of success, longing for the lifestyle of the rich and famous. Now, he’s here to teach you just how he did it. How he went from maxing out every single credit card bill he had to running a fully automated fitness facility and a successful copywriting business. He went from barely affording pizza to hosting sold-out events with some of the biggest names in the world of entrepreneurs. So how did he do it? Keep reading to find out the secrets to success, including why being selfish is a good thing, or why you should begin taking train trips to nowhere.
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"How to Be Fucking Awesome" Summary
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Summary by Lea Schullery. Audiobook narrated by Alex Smith
Introduction
We all know that person that has their life together, right? The person who has such an awesome life, plenty of money, amazing friends, and even a business they love. These people succeed while others struggle every step of the way, they are constantly broke and can’t seem to get out of their daily rut. Dan Meredith wondered about this disparity and began to search for the secret to success. For three years, Meredith searched for answers, buying countless self-help books and diving into the world of entrepreneurism. How to Be F*cking Awesome answers the question that you’re probably asking: Is it really possible to be f*cking awesome, live life on your own terms, make a difference and be truly fulfilled, all while having loads of fun?! The answer is yes. Throughout this book, Meredith outlines the key elements of success that he learned from analyzing life and spending time with some of the most successful people on the planet. By adopting these key elements into your life, you can begin your own journey to success and live, what Meredith hopes, a f*cking epic life.
Chapter 1: Be Selfish
Throughout our childhoods, we are constantly told that “sharing is caring” and that being selfish is a negative trait. Meredith is here to tell you that this idea is “total bollocks.” By telling our children to not be selfish, we are teaching them to think about everyone except themselves. It shows them that we should think about others while ignoring yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, and your thinking.
Meredith considers this the industrial age of thinking: “do what you are told. Work for others all your life, follow orders, take your money and shut the fuck up. Spend your life doing other people’s shit and ignoring your own shit till some fucking end date (retirement) which you don’t even know you’ll reach. And then depart this world with no legacy of your own ‘cause you were too busy living for others rather than making your own mark on this small planet of ours.” Doesn’t this sound remarkably awesome? No. That’s why, even if you support someone else, you should always put yourself first.
Take the advice of flight attendants who tell you to fit your own oxygen mask before attempting to help others fit theirs. The point is that you can’t possibly help others if you’re dying yourself. Meredith learned this lesson when he became “successful” by reaching a six-figure income; however, his success came with a cost. According to Meredith, he was working himself “stupid,” 100-120 hours a week, burning himself out and making himself ill. The money was good, but it was all a “fucking waste of time.” What’s the point of making money when you don’t even have the time to enjoy it? At the age of thirty-three, Meredith decided to start all over and create a business that was just for him.
As he began to grow his business, Meredith made a crucial mistake and began to neglect some important areas of life: his mental and physical health. He was drinking to deal with stress and bottling up his emotions, which led to a deadly cocktail of unhealthy habits. Therefore, keep the balance in your life by exercising, eating right, and keeping your mental health in check. Of course, exercise is hard but you need to do it. Do some research, figure out what you like and make it a part of your life. Next, eat as much real food as you can, ignore the fad diets and indulge every now and then with a pizza and Pinot - just don’t do it all the time.
Lastly, find a network of support to confide in. “Have people you trust around you and if you feel down/stressed, fucking talk to them.” If needed, there’s nothing wrong with speaking to a professional; therapy is healthy and normal, people are just too afraid to talk about it. Remove toxic people from your life, if that’s simply unfollowing someone on social media or blocking them from every communication channel, do what you need for you.
Chapter 2: Be Shameless and Embrace Your Weirdness
Remember that time you were too scared to do something? Whether it was being too scared to approach that good-looking person at the bar or applying for that job you didn’t think you were qualified for, we’ve all been there. Maybe you wanted to do something crazy and life-changing but were too scared of what your friends and family would think. Imagine if you’d just taken the plunge, how would your life be different today?
For the majority of Meredith’s life, he dictated his actions based on what others thought of him. He feared to even say hello to anyone new for fear of what they may or may not think of him. Then, he learned to stop caring which is where the next key to success comes in: be shameless. When you become shameless, you stop caring what others think and it is liberating. For instance, when Meredith began his business, he stepped out of his comfort zone and began contacting people who were infinitely more successful than him. You know the worst thing those people told him? “I’m not interested.” Many more, however, were willing to help him and through this shameless act, Meredith was able to create success beyond belief.
So when you want to achieve something in life or business, begin by asking yourself, “what truly is the worst that can happen?” While your imagination may come up with insane worst-case scenarios, in reality, it’s never that bad! Stop listening to that “little ‘what if’ bastard” and begin creating the life you deserve. And when times get tough, swallow your pride and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Imagine how you feel when you help others, it feels good right? So don’t deny others that same feeling and reach out if you’re struggling.
Being shameless also means being weird, but not "too fucking weird." Why are we so afraid to be unique? We love one-of-a-kind antiques and collectibles, and many times we run to the store (or website) for a limited-edition product, we can apply this same idea to people. You too are valuable, irreplaceable, and there is no one else like you. Embrace your uniqueness. It took a while for Meredith to learn this lesson. He wanted to be seen as the successful, sporty, badass tough guy who didn’t give a shit. In reality, he’s quite the geek! He loves being by himself, reading, wandering around an aquarium, and listening to classical music.
By holding back his true self, Meredith suffered. It wasn’t until he began to embrace his uniqueness that his audience began to grow. The more he was himself, the more people he connected with and could actually help. He states, “The more I was me, the more money flowed into my bank account. The more I was me, the more people identified with me and wanted to be a part of the journey.”
So be shameless, be you, and know that you are fucking awesome. Remember that “your mess is your message.” So don’t aim to be perfect, figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are, and stop right now trying to be the person you think people want you to be.
Chapter 3: Be Honest and Invest in Yourself
What if someone told you that there’s no such thing as a passion? Growing up we constantly hear the advice to follow your passion. But what does that even mean? According to Meredith, we can certainly have an interest in something, but a passion? Well, that’s too strong of a word. Instead, work with your interests and what you enjoy, the passion will come later. Once you become good at something, you’ll enjoy it more and begin to love it.
To figure out what you love, the first step is: be honest with yourself. Be brutally honest. Where are your strengths, your weaknesses? What areas of your life are you happy with? Unhappy with? Think about where you can improve. Meredith took this idea one step further by creating an online form to send to the people in his life: partner, friends, exes, colleagues, and associates. He asked them to tell him what they really think of him and how he could improve his character. The replies were anonymous so he would receive honest answers. Ouch!
Meredith states, “if my balls were digitized, they would be flat as pancakes from the kicks. It was brutal! But, it gave me the feedback I needed to make the changes to be a better version of myself.” By being brutally honest, you can learn the areas you need to improve and make yourself a better person. At the end of the day, we are only on this earth for a relatively short amount of time. So figure out what you like, be honest, and become the best version of yourself.
Additionally, when you are honest with yourself, you begin to determine your weaknesses. And when you know your weaknesses, you can improve upon them by investing in yourself. For instance, Meredith once spent his student loan investing in the necessary qualifications to become a personal trainer. Once he honed those skills, he opened a facility. His weakness, however, became copywriting and he needed to work on getting more customers through the door. On top of his day job, Meredith invested hours going to seminars, watching online training, and buying courses to learn the skills as fast as he could. These investments improved himself and his business and he learned how to make himself more valuable.
At the end of the day, be honest with yourself, what are your skills and talents? Find out what you’re really good at. Invest your time and energy sharpening those skills before you charge people for them. Then, continually invest in yourself by honing your weaknesses and improving your craft.
Chapter 4: Be Interesting and Prove Others Wrong
Be interesting. This concept seems vague, how can you just simply be interesting? While you might be a bit confused, let’s explain. First, take a look around. The people who have the most friends, a huge network, or own a successful business are extremely interesting. These are the people who know how to start and keep a conversation and are well-rounded individuals. Most importantly, when they don’t know something, they become interested. They ask questionsand try to take an interest in your passions. In other words, they become interesting by being interested.
To become interesting, you must first immerse yourself in different areas and develop your own thoughts and opinions. But more importantly, you must be willing to modify and change those opinions. If you are very closed-minded and aren’t willing to budge on what you think is right/wrong, good/bad, interesting/dull and believe you have it all figured out, then you have what Meredith calls a “fixed mindset” aka a "shit mindset." To become interesting, you’ll need a “growth mindset” in which you are willing to open yourself up to new ideas and opinions.
To open himself to new ideas, Meredith immerses himself in many different areas by visiting art galleries, reading history books, devouring autobiographies, taking classes, keeping up to date on current affairs, studying finance and the market, hanging out with old folks, going to the theater, studying philosophy, traveling to “fucking weird” places, and watching documentaries. On the other hand, he’s done some pretty weird and interesting stuff for social media including, visiting the Playboy mansion, completing restaurant food challenges, and waterboarding...himself. In other words, he’s a well-rounded individual who takes an interest in others and, therefore, makes himself interesting.
In today’s world, being interesting is a surefire way to stand out. There are millions of people like you, so how can you make yourself different? Meredith suggests reading and taking notes about what you learned from those books, and learning the art of storytelling. If you can learn to make people laugh with what you say and write, then you’re on your way to success. Of course, not everyone will enjoy your stories or think you are interesting. According to Meredith, the more successful and awesome you become, the more haters you attract. So how do you handle these haters?
You see, there will always be people out there who will be scared of your success. Whether in life or business, they will do everything they can to keep you down. It’s your job, however, to realize that those people are likely presenting their own insecurities on to you because they are scared of you succeeding. Therefore, Meredith’s advice is to simply prove them wrong! Take their hurtful words and use them to motivate you to smash your goals. There’s no greater feeling than proving someone wrong. But be careful not to boast, instead, let your actions do the talking.
Chapter 5: Be Productive
Dan Meredith is all about “getting shit done.” There’s no way to become successful without getting out there, putting in the hard work, and becoming productive. This area is where Meredith excels. On a hungover Tuesday morning, Meredith realized that while he was doing pretty well at consulting and copywriting, he could do so much more if he was just a bit more structured, disciplined, and productive. He had the habit of talking himself out of doing things, something we all do. But he realized that if he couldn’t hold himself accountable, then how could he inspire others?
Like all young people, he started his accountability with a Facebook post. He posted an accountability post at 9 a.m. and 3 p.m., his optimal times for people to see them. The goal wasto create an accountability group for people to post what they intended to do and what they’d actually done. Additionally, Meredith would post what he’d learned each day about sales, marketing, copywriting, networking, and more. Hoping for just fifteen or twenty people to help keep him accountable, the Facebook group now has over 4,000 members with hundreds more waiting to be admitted. The group is called “Coffee with Dan,” and the idea was to create a virtual coffee-shop co-working environment.
Accountability is a good start for staying productive, of course, you’ll also need to plan and schedule your days. Meredith begins by blocking out all the stuff that’s important to him, so that’s fitness, personal development/education, ‘nothing time’ (one hour a day to do whatever he wants), time with family, film night, and train journeys to nowhere. These train journeys provide Meredith with a distraction-free environment. He commits himself to work two hours to his final destination, takes a break at the destination, then commits himself to two more hours of uninterrupted work on the return journey. The key is to find an environment where you can be productive.
Next, Meredith came up with a 1-2-3 ranking system where he ranks the items on his to-do list in order of importance. 1.
- = super important, business-critical, time/deadline bound, makes money, or something only he can do. 2.
- = important, but doesn’t need to be done now: exploratory business meetings, interview/podcasts/guest content - things that need his input, but a team member can handle. 3.
- = not time-bound, not critical, someone else could do it, whimsical business ideas, busy work.
Before he goes through his ranking system, Meredith does what he calls a “brain dump,” in which he writes or types out all the tasks he wants/needs to do. He then highlights all the 1s and schedules only 3-5 tasks each day from Monday to Friday. If he has space, he adds in some 2s or 3s, but that’s it! If you struggle to transition from one activity to another, perhaps try planning out your days based on a theme. Monday might be planning, Tuesday coaching, Wednesday meetings, etc.
Lastly, establish a routine. This is perhaps one of the most important parts of staying productive and the first hour of your day is the most important. Meredith advises to not, “fuck around on Facebook or check your emails. Get yourself in the right frame of mind to start the day. By doing this you’re going to be in a more focused mood to get shit done during the day.”
Chapter 6: The Importance of Like-Minded People
One of the worst things you can do when embarking on your journey towards awesomeness is to surround yourself with people who don’t understand you. According to Meredith, “There’s no point hanging around lazy fucking people who are unhappy with their soul-sucking jobs, only waiting until the weekend to numb their senses partying until 4 a.m. wasting the money they just spent sixty+ hours in the week earning. That or they sit in front ofthe TV, slowly letting their life slip by.” Instead, the key is to surround yourself with people who have similar goals, ambitions, and values as you.
As you continue to grow your success, inevitably, the people around you will begin to change. After speaking to many successful people about this topic, it seems to be a fact of life that those close to you before your success may not always be there for you afterward. It’s a hard reality, but it happens, so prepare for it. Anyway, maybe you’re wondering how you can begin to grow your circle and surround yourself with like-minded people. How can you get started?
First, there are many Facebook groups and forums out there that you can join. This is a great low/no-cost option and is the best place to start. Find a group that fits your ethos, filled with people like you, and join in. Participate in the conversations, don’t simply become a “lurker” who reads the posts and never interacts. Getting involved will better your chances of success, become someone who takes action. This means you need to add value, everyone in any phase of life can add value somehow. Don’t simply take without giving and don’t spam or pitch, that’s just rude and a “dick move.”
Next, attend in-person events and seminars. These places are great opportunities to connect with others and network. The best advice is to simply be yourself and have real, organic conversations, and try something new! For instance, when Meredith was trying to grow his copywriting business, he didn’t go to copywriting events, he went to fitness events. By starting genuine conversations, he picked up a “shit ton” of business with zero pitching or effort.
Finally, invest in others. This simply means investing in a coach or mentor. If you’re looking to level-up your skills, having a coach, even for just a few months, can help you get over a particular hurdle and get to the next step. Mentors, however, are those who stay with you for longer periods of time. Someone who has extensive experience in the field you are in and can be there to guide you when needed. It’s important to remember that no one becomes successful on their own, like raising a kid, it takes a village. Investing your time and maybe some money will show your coaches and mentors that you respect their time and abilities. In return, they’ll teach you the skills you need and open you up to their massive, powerful network. So get up, get out, meet people, and get the hell off Facebook.
Chapter 7: Final Summary
When it comes to success, the one thing to remember is that no one is special. Dan Meredith isn’t special and neither are you. Everyone is simply human with similar wants, needs, and desires. What you do have, however, is uniqueness. Now, you may have ideas and that won’t make you unique, everyone has ideas. What will make you unique is taking that idea and turning it into a reality. But how? “By doing the fucking work.” Meredith didn’t see a change in his life until he made sacrifices in his life, invested in his education, skills, and network, and put time in every single day, and never quit. That’s when the “ball started rolling.” By following the advice of Dan Meredith, you too can experience similar success either in life or business. So in the words of Meredith, “fuck the excuses, the nonsense, the critics, the status quo, and being average.” Embrace life, love work, have a dream, and lastly... BE AWESOME.